Feeling Down

for the past like year i have been depressed. only 2 of my closest friends know my own parents dont even know. i think of dying like every day. its really hard to concentrate on school work and its just been real hard its like when im at school i look totaly fine but when i go in my room by myself its like a huge meltdown music used to help now nothing really helps its really frusrtating my birthday is coming up and its like wow this thing again i dont even care anymore its been really hard not to cry when im around my parents u would never expect a kid like me to be like this u see me walking around school and u would never guess im this way i know my parents love me and it would kill them to see my dead in my room one day but at the same time i dont really care its like wut the hell is my problem my friend ryan is really worried about me all the time we have only been friends for a year but were hella close this may seem like im just going on and on but talking and typing my feelings makes it a little better well bye bye